wickedwords | Fic: Women's Work (Miko Kusanagi /Laura Cadman, PG)

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Title: Women's Work
Author: Rachael Sabotini/

wickedwords
Other Info: Miko Kusanagi /Laura Cadman implied, PG, 3300 words.
Vague spoilers for Pegasus Project.
Summary: Antarctica taught Miko that context was everything.

Author's Notes: Both

elynross and

z_rayne deserve a ton of thanks for betaing this story, as the tense changed on an almost random basis in the first completed draft. All grammatical and factual mistakes are my own. Started for

atlantis_lvw, this story was completed for both

monanotlisa, who asked for a story about minor characters like Miko, and the

14valentines community's Women and Work day.

Women's Work

Antarctica taught Miko that context was everything. She'd been at the top of her class at university, but most of the expedition scientists were of the same caliber; suddenly she was average, at best. In the first few days she learned she wasn't as quick as she had always thought, and she realized she'd never make the innovative leaps that Drs. McKay and Zelenka did. But she also learned she was thorough, that nothing passed her by, not even the little 'mistakes' that Dr. McKay left in his calculations to test his people. By the end of Atlantis's scientific boot camp, she knew that what she lacked in imagination, she could make up for in effort and a willingness to do any needed work, no matter how menial it might be.

It took a year for Dr. McKay to learn her name, but he always handed his calculations to her first.

The gene, though... They couldn't teach that at boot camp, as no one really knew how it worked. She wasn't able to light up the control chair, so she was quickly relegated to ranks of the lesser gene carriers. When they stepped through the gate, it was her job to initialize the consoles and turn on the lights as they secured the area, and it was a job at which she excelled during that first year. The Marines loved her efficiency, and asked her to go with them whenever they explored the city. She saw more of Atlantis than McKay and Zelenka combined, and it saved her from being put on the team that ended up in the nanite-infested lab, as she had already logged more hours of city exploration than anyone else.

But no one requested that she join their gate team.

Dr. McKay, then Dr. Zelenka, were picked first, and even the botanists and biologists were taken on off-world explorations. They all learned this new job, how to fight and shoot and be a part of a team. Miko wished she could go with them, in that vague way she'd wished as a child to be a fireman, or a ballerina, but she understood why she wasn't chosen. Eventually, she accepted that she would never be Atlantis's first line of defense in an emergency, yet she always knew that she could be its last.

***

Emergency lights flared red and faded, casting eerie shadows on the walls of the lab and over the closed and locked door. Miko could hear the Marines and the other scientists as they worked frantically to free her group from the lockdown. Casting a critical eye at the hole in the ceiling where water was pouring into the room, Miko figured they had 3.425 hours left before the room entirely flooded. Unfortunately, most of the other people inside the room were unconscious or too injured to be of any help.

Laura was still awake, though Miko wasn't sure it was any sort of favor. The burns on her side looked nasty, but at least the console she'd ducked behind had blocked the worst of the blast. Propped up against the wall at the highest part of the room, she looked at Miko out of the corner of her eye and tilted her head slightly. "It's not your fault."

Miko tucked her injured hand tight against her belly, swallowing hard against the pain. "I made a mistake; we can't afford to make mistakes. If Dr. McKay had been here, or Dr. Zelenka--"

"Rodney makes a hell of a lot of mistakes," Laura said. "I should know."

"Dr. McKay is a great man," Miko said firmly. "He would have seen that the crystal was flawed before Mathews initialized the console."

"He would have gone to do it himself, you mean."

"Yes." Miko blinked at Laura. "That is why he would have known about the crystal."

"And because you let someone else do their job, and they didn't notice, it's your fault."

"Yes. I should have been aware of Mathews' limitations, and done it myself. It's...." She pressed her lips firmly together. "He has better control over the gene," she said quietly.

***

In the infirmary, Laura rolled her eyes as Miko tried to talk Dr. Beckett into attending to the rest of the team first. "Don't play the martyr card, okay? Just hop on the gurney and let Carson take a look at you." She elbowed herself up on the gurney and yelled out, "Hey, Carson! Miko burned herself hot-patching the crystals, and she needs someone to look at her." With a wink, Laura flopped back on the bed, her hair flying everywhere. "That'll bring him."

Sure enough, Carson bustled over just as Miko settled onto the examination bed. "What happened?"

"It's her arm." Laura said, not waiting for Miko to answer. "The panel sparked a lot when she was patching, and she's been favoring her right arm ever since."

Miko hissed when Carson gently unfolded her arm to look at the damage. "It is minor," she said, trying very hard not to let her voice tremble. "I have had chemical burns much worse than that."

"Don't let her get away with that crap," Laura said, turning to glower at Miko. "She plays everything close to her chest, and has a damn good poker face, too."

"I won't take her word for it, don't worry. I have experience at this kind of thing." He smiled at Laura, then turned back to Miko. "She gets a little talkative when she's had morphine." He looked at Miko, his blue eyes filled with concern. "Now, tell me what happened."

"She was amazing," Laura said, and Miko could hear the drugs taking effect now, the way her words started to slur. "Everything was going to hell, and she got really quiet all of a sudden. She walked over to the panel, stared at it, and then--boom. Explosion, door open, water draining. She saved all of our lives."

Miko couldn't look at Dr. Beckett anymore, and stared at the floor. "I just listened."

***

The other gene carriers talked in hushed tones about their 'connection' with Atlantis, but Miko had never experienced it. There was no sudden flare of warmth when she touched the wall, no faint scent of cherry blossoms that filled her quarters at night. For her, it was just a wall and the regular scent of recycled air; her days were filled with the science of Ancient technology, rather than the mysteries of some AI.

But in her dreams, Atlantis spoke to her...

In her dream, Atlantis appeared like the hologram that served as the library interface, and her haughty, disdainful look blended seamlessly with images from Miko's youth, a fusion of old and new. Looking like the hina dolls displayed for Girl's Day Festivals, Atlantis wore stylized, layered green and blue kimonos, with the most opulent one featuring gate symbols worked in gold. There were decorative images of planets on the control crystals stuck in her elaborately coiffured hair.

Her severe beauty made Miko's heart beat faster; she wished desperately to do something to please her.

"Your shadow moves lightly over the field, little one." Atlantis's voice was cold and powerful, yet held an undercurrent of affection. She sat in a great wooden throne, carved like the control chair, one hand folded gracefully on the arm. "Why are you here?"

"I...." Sitting carefully on the wooden floor, Miko curled her legs around her, trying to mimic Atlantis's grace. A hundred ideas raced through her mind, a thousand answers, but there was only one truth: "I need to learn."

"That is a very good answer." She sat upright and stared intently at Miko, examining her.

"I want to know how I can hear you during the day, the way the others can." Miko bowed quickly, touching her head to the floor, feeling both embarrassed and presumptuous.

"Then listen."

Miko heard the rustling of cloth, and the soft sound of footsteps brushing over the floor. She raised her head, and the woman was smiling at her, lips painted red against white skin. "How do I do that?"

"You know how." She nodded at a carved apothecary cabinet on the far wall, images of Wraith picked out in red and black and gold against the lacquered black wood. "What do you hear?"

"Nothing. I--" Miko hesitated. She heard nothing, true, but there was a sensation, a warm buzzing feeling that ran through her, warm and liquid at the same time. She thought about it, focused, and felt it get stronger.

Atlantis motioned at her. "Go and get it."

Scurrying over, she grasped the screaming face of the Wraith's victim and pulled open the door; inside was a small device, like the personal shield, but smaller. In Miko's trembling hand, the device glowed a bright blue, and she could feel its warmth.

"It gets easier with practice." Atlantis said, crossing her arms over her chest. "You will remember this later."

"Hai." Miko ducked her head shyly. "Yes, I will."

Bending down, Atlantis brushed her cheek with her own and whispered, "Be well, daughter."

Daylight scattered the images, but the feeling of warm skin lingered even as Miko headed to the lab. She no longer envied the other gene carriers their daily minor wonders; she knew that she spoke with the Ancients at night.

***

"Hey, you want to grab some breakfast?" Laura leaned around the edge of the door, poking her head into the lab. "I hear you've been up all night working on--" She made a vague gesture at Miko's computer, "...something. You need a break, and whatever they're serving has got to be better than a PowerBar, right?"

Miko blinked and rubbed her hand over her forehead, noticing how the letters on the screen had grown fuzzy. She hadn't realized how tired she was. "Yes, I suppose. Thank you."

"No sweat. I think Colonel Sheppard had 'scientist herding' added to the official duty list." She swept her hand down Miko's back and left it resting at her waist. "Come on. We might be able to snag a cinnamon roll-thing if we get there before seven."

"I like those," Miko said, and smiled.

"I do, too. So, come on, hurry up." Laura snapped her fingers. "Warm sticky sweet buns wait for no one."

Obediently, Miko headed for the transporter, glancing at Laura out of the corner of her eyes. "Thank you."

"Okay, that's it," Laura said, their footsteps ringing in the empty halls. "Next time you thank me, I'm going to fine you."

"Fine me?"

"Yeah, not money, something else." She tapped her finger against her lips. "Got it. When was the last time you were on the firing range?"

"Right before the first siege, why?" Miko pressed the door of the transporter, and they both stepped inside.

"Because if you thank me again, you get to spend an hour there, honing your marksmanship, got it?"

"I am not very good," Miko said, and pressed the map location nearest the mess.

"Doesn't matter. At an hour per thank you, it won't take long for that to improve." The transporter doors opened, and Laura stepped aside to let Miko go first.

"Thank--"

"Ha!" Laura barked. "I guess I'll see you on the range Wednesday morning, right?" She jostled Miko with her shoulder, and Miko sighed, unable to stop a small smile from peeking through her lips.

She became an excellent shot.

***

Sometimes, Miko helped Dr. Zelenka with the jumpers. The pilots had little patience with running his tests, but Miko used each one as an opportunity to listen to the Ancient systems and learn more about them. While they worked, they talked about anything and everything: their home lives, their favorite foods, the best place for sushi in Paris. Radek told her all of the gossip he heard from Carson, while she judiciously kept him apprised of what she heard at girls' poker night.

"Oh, Miko!" Carson said, as he walked with Radek into the jumper bay. "Just the person I was looking for."

"Yes, Dr. Beckett?"

"Carson, please, love. You've known me for nearly two years now, and I think you can call me by my given name. No one is particularly formal with me, unless they're in the infirmary."

"All right, Carson." She ducked her head shyly.

Darting a glance at Dr. Zelenka, Carson bounced onto the balls of his feet and said, "Radek tells me that you're a fair hand with wood carving."

"What?" She shot a dark glance at Dr. Zelenka. "I am not terribly skilled--"

"She is modest," Dr. Zelenka said. "It is her biggest failing as a scientist. That wooden box I showed you?" He hit Carson's arm. "She made it."

"Before I came to Atlantis." Miko cleared her throat. Her father had been a skilled carpenter, and she had picked up some of his teachings, though she never exhibited the skill he had. "I have no tools here."

"What if I brought you some?" Carson pursed his lips. "Could you make a box like that then?"

"I...suppose." She thought for a moment. "Perhaps among the Athosians there is a sculptor more skilled than I."

Carson scratched his head. "Laura said I wasn't to buy her anything, and that included bartering with the Athosians. I thought--" He shrugged helplessly. "I didn't know what to get her, and while I could tie a fine set of flies for her, she's never actually gone fishing with me, even though she says she loves it." He sighed heavily. "She's going back on the Daedelus, you know, and I thought--"

"I will do it," Miko said firmly. "If you get me tools, I will carve you a box, like the one I showed Dr. Ze-- Radek."

"Excellent!" He flashed her a grin. "How long do you think it will take?"

"It will be done after I have the wood and the tools. I cannot be more specific than that."

"I suppose. Still, the Daedelus won't be here for another three weeks. Do you think that will give you enough time?"

"I will make sure it does."

"Thank you, lass. I'm sure Laura will be pleased."

Miko spent the next few days trying to figure out what she could make with what she had. At breakfast the morning that Carson told her he was going to go pick up the tools from the Halling, she noticed one of the bright red seabirds landing on the balcony outside of the mess. The bird reminded her a little of Laura, with its fierce eyes and irreverent attitude, hopping right up to the door to look for food.

It took her less than a week to finish the box, and she presented it to Carson, to his profuse thanks. But when Laura brought the box to the next poker night to show it off, Miko knew that she loved it.

***

"Why are you leaving, Laura?" The room spun a little, and Laura propped her up on the walk down the hallway. She smelled nice, so Miko nuzzled into the scent.

"Hey, none of that," Laura said laughingly. "At least wait until we get to your room, anyway. Wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong idea."

"But why are you leaving?"

"Tour's over."

"You could--"

"Yeah, but it's more than that. I wasn't supposed to stay on as long as I did, but Colonel Sheppard was able to make it work, said I was necessary to the expedition." She shrugged. "They've got a new explosives expert now, so I'm not really that necessary. Besides--" She glanced down the hallway. "--the place got a little small, once Carson was my ex, if you know what I mean."

Miko took a breath, then closed her mouth. "I don't."

"Let's just say he was a little clingy. It hasn't been so bad the last couple of weeks, since I told him I was leaving, but before that-- gah. Like walking through maple syrup."

"I thought he wanted me to make him the box so he could give you a ring."

"You're quite the romantic, aren't you? Nah. Carson gave me a set of flies that he'd tied, something to remember him by. He did say that he'd gotten the box from you, but I thought he'd traded you for it."

"Oh, no. I couldn't trade for it. It isn't perfect."

"Well, I love it. I'm not a big fan of perfection."

"Is that why you like me?"

"You are really drunk, you know that?"

"It was our last poker night. It seemed appropriate."

"Well, if I'd known how badly you played once you got a little potted, I would have brought you sake months ago." She looked down the hallway at one of the doors. "And here we are. All good little scientists brought safe and sound to their homes." She brushed her fingertip along Miko's nose. "Stay safe, okay? And remember to drink a lot of water when the headache's bad."

"Do you...want to come in?" Miko said quickly, then ran her hand over the entrance crystal.

Laura looked into the darkened room, then back at Miko. She brushed her hand over Miko's cheek. "I want to, but I can't. You know that, right?"

"I...I suppose." Miko's cheeks felt red hot. "I will miss you, Lieutenant."

"Yeah, well." She cleared her throat. "I'll miss you, too." She glanced down the hall, and her spine seemed to firm up. She pressed her hand to the back of Miko's head, and threaded her fingers into her hair; Miko's heart pounded as Laura's lips brushed hers, sweet and gentle as silk.

Miko was dazed as Laura pulled back and ran her hand over her face. "That's why I need to go."

"Oh."

Laura licked her lips, and looked away. "One more thing. I talked with Colonel Sheppard, and told him that you should be on one of the gate teams."

"What?" Miko's mind seemed to be working at half-speed.

"Not sure he'll do it, but I told him your marksmanship score, and pointed out a few of the incident reports where everyone said that you saved their asses, so...." Laura shrugged. "You're better than you think you are, okay? Remember that when Sheppard asks."

Turning away, Laura walked briskly down the hall, while Miko headed into her room and closed the door. She woke to a pounding headache, and a request from Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay about the possibility of her joining a gate team.

***

Each time she'd changed schools, growing up, Miko became the last person picked for volleyball. Whenever her team competed, the other team took one look at her and immediately spiked the ball at her. Her arms were always covered in bruises, and she had to repair her glasses herself once, using black shrink-wrap tubing and a hair dryer--which she promptly forgot about for the next six months, leaving her glasses with the black tubing on them until her father finally noticed. But eventually, the other teams always learned that targeting her was a sucker bet. She had the most saves of anyone on her team.

Adjusting the thigh-strap so the weight sat right, Miko drew her weapon quickly and smoothly, just as Laura had showed her. Satisfied, she stood up and picked up her pack, smiling and nodding to the rest of her team as the wormhole formed. Major McClellan nodded at the group and headed up the ramp toward the wormhole, followed by Retan and Miko, while Collins brought up the rear.

Glancing over her shoulder before she passed through the wormhole, she saw Radek wave to her from the balcony; she gave a tiny wave back, and stepped into the blue unknown.

End