a little bit on what's going on

[wickedwords]

It's been a crazy couple of weeks since my first chemo treatment. I ended up terribly constipated from the infusion, which cleared up on Saturday, but then I had the opposite problem for several days. The steroid crash left me crying a lot, and my mouth and tongue were quite white from all the cells that were killed off. Without tastebuds, I had little interest in eating and what I did manage tasted wrong. Water had a weird taste too, but I could drink things if they were cold enough, so I had a lot of iced things. Oh, and the white blood cell shot made me ache a lot, so I was taking Tylenol for five days, and felt like someone had kicked me in the side. The misery index was pretty high through Sunday.

By Monday, though, I feeling enough better that I got on-line and worked from home for a few hours. The first thing that happened was my boss's boss IM'd me, and wanted me to come to his office. I freaked, since I was working from home after having had chemo, and it was clear he knew nothing about it. So I explained what was going on, and that was why I hadn't been around the past few days--but that wasn't why he wanted to talk to me.

Apparently, he'd just fired my boss.

Which, okay, I'd known there was a strained relationship between the two, but I didn't know it had gotten to the point where my boss had been asked to look for a different job within the company, and that his time had finally run out. So I made a point to come in on Tuesday the 22nd, to touch base and find out what was up.

That was when he told me--in person this time--that they'd decided that my job really didn't fit with his organization, so I was being re-orged to a new group, effective immediately. Oh, and I'd have to meet with my new boss at 11:00. "nice to see you, yadda, yadda, and yes, I told them you were having chemo."

So, great. I meet my new team, my husband picks me up after the meeting and takes me home, where I eat fast food from arby's and crash. I spend the rest of the week working 1/2 days at work, and some time at home, and taking big, long naps. I develop a rash on my butt that benedryl creme helps, and acne on my thighs, which I just kinda ignore, and a bad case of heartburn.

However, I start being able to taste food again, and that makes things much better. Sweet is the first set to come back, followed by salty. So water starts tasting salty, but juice bars are heaven.

I eat a lot of juice bars.

When I meet with the oncologist a week after treatment, the white blood cell counts aren't quite what is expected, but given the pain I'd had from the first shot, she doesn't give me a second one. Instead, I get a week of high powered antibiotics, as a just-in-case; I'm also to stay away from crowds and wash my hands or use purell a lot.

She gives me prilosec for the heartburn, and more antibiotics for a trip to the dentist to check into a receding gum issue, plus industrial strength vitamin D (50,000 units taken once a week)

By Saturday, I am feeling pretty good, and my husband comments that I am more myself again. I'm feeling good enough that I go out and visit the cannibals for a bit, and then come home and crash. Sunday, we clip my hair down to a brush cut, since it was strongly suggested that I would start loosing my hair soon; this week, I have started rockin' the soft hats.

In fact, today is the day that I lose some my hair, starting with under-my-arms. Not sure how long it will take before I lose what's on my head, but I've heard it goes fast. I'll probably be bald by the time I go for my second treatment next week.

Comments

[gblvr]

::smishes::

[blueraccoon]

*snugs* are you feeling up for any kind of company or going somewhere for coffee or what have you? am thinking dinner might be out due to avoiding crowds and things and if I need to stay away too, that's fine. thinking about you, hon.

[bientot]

As Gilda Radner said, "It's always something..." Sending warm thoughts your way - fwiw, I happen to think bald ladies are very cool, and you've certainly got a great head.

[carolyn_claire]

I find I'm unable to read details (issues) but I'm, you know, here. I wish I could do more. *gestures encouragement from the doorway*

[laurashapiro]

Thanks for the update. My god, the work thing must be so stressful on top of it all. How infuriating.

Thinking of you. ::hugs::

[minim_calibre]

Ugh. Reorg-y (which needs the dash, otherwise it's reorgy, which is a totally different mental image, one pref. involving Very Hot People and not work) crap is a stress bucket in the best of times. Totally not fair that you have that to put up with on top of chemo.

[meri_oddities]

Man, work on top of that. *hugs*

[twistedchick]

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

[kass]

This is all so wild and so strange. Thank you for opening this window into your experience.

And gah; it sounds so hard. Losing taste, and everything hurting, and then on top of that stupid work stress (FFS.)

Yay soft hats. I trust you know plenty of people who knit who can make you lovely ones. (If I could knit, I would totally offer. But you really don't want to wear anything I could fashion out of string!)

[the_shoshanna]

Gah, what a lot you're dealing with. I'm thinking of you.

[wolfshark]

*hugs you tight*

[cereta]

{{hugs you}}

[helens78]

*sends hugs!*

[treewishes]

Wow, that's a whole new level of the misery index. Glad to hear you're hanging in there! {{hugs}}

I am going to be ghastly, here:

[saffronhouse]

But reading about all the fun you're having, I am struck (not for the first time) with the fact that on the life-threatening illness and horrible treatment scale? A stroke doesn't even register. No matter how unpleasant a thing seems in retrospect, the blessing of brain damage is such a cushion--don't quite know how to describe it, which is unsurprising--but even now, what is, simply is, which is a marvelous balm.

I have not lost my sense of perspective to the point of wishing you a little brain damage. But I am looking for comfort from the other side. An awareness of the unpleasant is such a reminder of how much you are still you, and that's such a good thing.

So much nattering. Sorry! I send my love and earnest hope the you will soon be enjoying your unique selfness in the *absence* of physical misery.

[lapillus]

{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}

[telesilla]

*hugs a bunch*

[tazlet]

::hugs:: and lots and lots of vitamin D.

[wickedwords]

I would love company and going out for something like coffee. I know tomorrow is bad for you, and I am busy on Saturday. How's sunday? Is that your campaign day? If so, maybe Monday's the thing.

[blueraccoon]

Tomorrow and Sunday are both free, actually. Name your choice and your location and I'll see you there :)

[wickedwords]

Oh, hon. {{Hugs}} I know I'm blathering a bit, and no worries about not reading the details of these missives. I'm putting some of this down as a journal, and some of it because I know I'm a little fascinated by the minutia of my friends lives, particularly when they are going through a big event. Thanks for just being here and letting me natter.

[wickedwords]

Well, I'm losing my hair today, so we should see how it really looks in a few days. *g* {{Hugs}}

[wickedwords]

I inherited all of Sandy's soft hats from her trip through chemo, along with the 'my first chemo pony' (which is really quite adorable.) My sister-in-law is sending me a couple of headwraps made by an old friend of the family, and I'm getting a headwrap from france lux, which gives a free wrap to every woman who loses their hair from chemo for breast cancer. (http://www.franceluxe.com/c/headwraps/It%27s+A+Wrap.html) I also had another friend who has offered me the wig she used when she was going through BC treatment, so I feel I am pretty well set for the next six months. Which is good, as the hair on my head started falling out today, so I'm going to be needing them this winter.

Re: I am going to be ghastly, here:

[wickedwords]

There is some amnesia that comes along with having chemo. In a way, I'm not sure I should be writing up such detail, or if I should just let it get lost in the fog of treatment. Which, like you said, is a blessing in its way.

[wickedwords]

Sunday is awesome! Let's meet at claim jumper, and you can pick the time.